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Hey friend,
Okay… deep breath. We’re officially in the season where everyone’s emotions are at a rolling boil, the family dynamics get spicy in the worst ways, and our nervous systems are like, “actually no, I did not sign up for this.”
So let’s talk about a mental health tool that might save your energy, your peace, and honestly your blood pressure this year: The Let Them Theory (shoutout to Mel Robbins for naming the thing we’ve all been trying to do forever).
But today we’re talking about the mental health version — how to use it when you're already overwhelmed, exhausted, overstimulated, or bracing for the usual holiday family circus.
Why “Let Them” is a Mental Health Strategy
When you “let them,” you’re really saying:
I’m not carrying what’s not mine this year. I’m not abandoning myself to keep the peace. I’m not letting someone else’s emotional unwellness hijack my nervous system.
This isn’t passive. It’s protective.
You’re making a conscious choice not to tie your wellbeing to someone else’s behavior. And for those of us with ADHD, anxiety, trauma history, or a nervous system that’s already maxed out — this is HUGE.
Holiday Survival Version: How to Actually Use It
1. Let them have their feelings without making them yours. Your mom’s stress isn’t yours. Your brother’s snappiness isn’t yours. Your aunt’s guilt-tripping isn’t yours.
Let them feel however they feel. And you? Feel how you feel. No merging energy this year.
2. Let them misunderstand you. Some relatives LOVE assigning you a role you don’t even play anymore. The “sensitive one.” The “difficult one.” The “emotional one.” Whatever. Let them.
What they think doesn’t change your healing or your progress.
3. Let them be chaotic — you don’t have to get pulled in. Family drama is like a group text you never asked to be added to. Mute it. Step back. Observe like you’re watching a nature documentary about unstable species in their habitat.
4. Let them continue their patterns instead of expecting them to change. Honestly, this is the heartbreak and the freedom. People are going to be who they’ve always been. Let them.
And you get to decide your distance, your boundaries, your exit plan, and your emotional availability.
5. Let them take things personally so you don’t have to. If you say no to hosting? Let them be offended. If you bring a store-bought pie? Let them judge. If you leave early to protect your peace? Let them talk.
They react. You regulate.
That’s your whole assignment this year.
And here’s the mental health magic…
When you stop managing everyone else, your brain finally has room to take care of you.
Your anxiety eases up. Your depression doesn’t get fueled by family negativity. Your ADHD brain isn’t trying to process 67 layers of emotional noise. Your nervous system gets a holiday break, too.
Let them. Not because you don’t care — but because you finally care about yourself just as much.
So this year? Protect your peace like it’s the last slice of pie. Guard your energy like it’s a precious limited-edition holiday candle. And let everyone else… do whatever they’re gonna do anyway.
Love Always, Amy Your Mental Health Warrior & Neurodivergent Advocate 💚
P.S. If you want more support, guidance, and real-life tools for living with this brilliant, messy brain of yours, come hang with me inside my SKOOL community. We’re building something special — and you belong there. Check it out! click here.
To subscribe to my newsletter please enter your e-mail address below. You will be kept in the loop about all new podcast episodes, get information on how life living with mental health and neurodiversity struggles can be and some tips on how to make it easier. You will receive sales e-mails as well for my digital products or e-mail coaching. You can unsubscribe at any time if you decide this is no longer for you.
